This isn’t for everyone…

The semester is steadily, yet swiftly, coming to a close. The workload is piling on, and my undergraduate career is about to take another step into coming to an end, even though it seems far away.

As I hear others speak about their college experiences, how they did, and where they are today, I’ve come to a simple realization that I would like to encourage you with.

This life that we live is incredible. The non-stop classes, projects, papers and assignments, the efforts to earn our own money to provide our own means outside tuition, the early 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. wake-ups, the balancing of time which always seems to short, the limited rest, the inconveniences, and the challenge of finding yourself is our competition everyday. But we get up every single day (most of us) and do it.

This life of being a college student, isn’t for everyone.

This week, I’ll be brief and encouraging. I know this lifestyle feels repetitive. It feels as if it’s a continuous road to nowhere. But the beauty of your stress, worries and sleepless nights, is that they let you become a person that you wouldn’t have otherwise, in ways you probably couldn’t even imagine. No, life isn’t handed to you on a silver platter because you have a college degree, but it sure does give you a nice kitchen to work with to make the platter yourself.

If you can go through this, come out fighting every step of the way until you walk across the stage to shake your president’s hand, you’ve won half the battle of this life. Applaud yourself for staying in this journey past the first semester of your freshman year. Applaud yourself for working past what many of your friends in high school didn’t even want to fully attempt. Applaud yourself for ignoring all the news reports, articles and negative people who say that college is a waste, and you do nothing but come out broke, and doing a regular job that someone with a high school diploma could have done. Complete this journey working as hard as you can, with minimal complaints, with integrity and with effort, and you’ll be sure to find your rewards soon enough.

How do you think you’re doing so far at this stage of your college career? Or your life in general?

God bless. Happy Thanksgiving!

Caught Up…

There’s a phase in our lives where everything gets too “simple.” We go through the same tedious routine. We wake up after hitting the snooze button (x) number of times. Then, we get dressed with something random from our drawers, while throwing on the same beloved jacket or hoodie that keeps us warm. After that, it’s off to grab a quick breakfast, usually not the most healthy one, and running off trying to make it to class on time. From there, we continue with our regularly scheduled courses, eat, hang out with friends, sleep and do it all again. But what happens when we are absolutely tired of the same ol’ thing, day after day?

We hear those menacing words that play in the back of our heads that say, “This is college. Make memories for a lifetime.” Honestly, when I hear that, I think of that as something that’s meant to happen naturally. You don’t have to force a good memory. Right? But what if nothing adventurous ever rears its head? What if you are stuck going through college remembering absolutely nothing in particular that happened to you (and you’ve been sober for the most part)? That’s when the danger comes. This is the time were we take it upon ourselves to make things happen. Before you know it, you’re caught up in a mess that you would’ve never dreamed of. 

If you’ve been raised in a healthy, positive home environment, family and friends may have come to you right before college and said things like, “Don’t get out there and go wild” or “Know what you’re going to school for.” These statements along with others got so common for us, and only reiterated the intentions we initially had. We knew about all the things college had to offer. We’ve continuously told ourselves in our college conversations and considerations that we would never be “that guy.” We thought we knew, until we got here and you deal with those dilemmas face to face.

No matter what college you would’ve enrolled in, whether it had been a Christian, private, state or public university, you would’ve experienced the same thing on various levels. The potential of these situations may vary depending on what sex you are.

Ladies…

-You heard that the guys were going to try and talk to you. But you knew you would be ready for it. Mom has trained you well. You thought you saw it all. However, before you know it, you’re kissing on this new guy of yours after hanging out with him only for a couple of nights. The next thing you know, all your free time is devoted to him. You won’t do homework (like you should), you’re ditching the girls a lot and your phone seems to be filled up with his text messages and incoming calls. The worst part of all this is after a few weeks of this new guy, this fun pick-me-up you have, you find out that he’s been doing the same thing with someone else. Caught up.

-This isn’t going to be high school anymore. You’re going to finally establish a new identity. You can now be your own person without the pressure of the popular clique telling you where you rank in your social status. But then you get there. You see that there are possible friends you can hang with, but they don’t fit your ideal set of friends. Guys aren’t approaching you at the rate you thought they would, and it seems like nobody knows you. Yes, you have your own identity, but what’s a unique identity to someone who’s never acknowledged?

You decide to take some desperate measures. At first, you didn’t want to “conform” by joining a social club or a sorority, but you see that it does provide a little status. It won’t hurt. Then, you meet a group of girls whom you so desperately try to impress by saying you’ve hooked up with this guy, or you’ve got this kind of car, or you have some sort of access to all the hot-spots in the city. A group of girls take you up on your offers. Eventually, they have manipulated you into doing what they want and how they want it done, changing your whole appearance and pressuring you into doing activities you never would have tried otherwise. In addition, they’re using you. You let them use your car to travel, your money which they promise to pay back (but never do) and your smarts on every test that they take. They want you to baby-step them through those complicated math problems, which eventually they cheat off of you for anyway. Now this “friendship” is nothing but a stress factor. Caught up.

Guys…

-You’ve never smoked or drunk before. But now, after hanging out with a crowd who does it every night, you decide that it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot. You don’t really like it at first, but for some reason, you keep doing it with them night after night. You trick yourself into thinking that you have to do it now, or you lose your “respect” you’ve properly gained from them. You started off going to random parties just to see what they may be like, but now you’re a party animal. You get drunk, high and don’t come back to the dorm sometimes until 5 a.m. It doesn’t bother you at all like it used to. It feels good to be wild. Even as you sit and reflect on the life you currently live, even as you go back home and hear your mom tell you, “You’ve changed,” you can’t stop the lifestyle until you get to that final low of crashing and burning. Caught up.

-You may not party hard, smoke or drink, but you’ve met a nice girl. Too nice. She was easily receptive to your conversations, she loved hanging out with you at anytime you were ready, and without even knowing her, she’s already talking about a possible relationship in the works. You’ve never been received like this by a girl, who’s actually pretty sexy, and you would be an idiot to pass her up. That one night, as you two are just sitting in a nice quiet, dark room, watching a movie, she re-positions herself and sits on you in just the right way. She knows what she did. You touch her, she touches back, and the touches turn to kissing, the kissing turns to intense rubbing, the rubbing turns to sex. She doesn’t even mind doing this process every other day or so. Neither do you. But it never crossed your mind that if she did this so quickly with you, how many others has she done this with? Unfortunately, you’re too caught up in the rush to think about that. You’re so delusional that you didn’t even pay attention when she missed her period this past month. Caught up.

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Ladies and gentlemen, the opportunities to get caught up in some seriously messy situations are very real. Just because you haven’t experienced it, doesn’t mean it won’t happen to your best friend or the person in class right next to you. These things happen. If we aren’t trained properly at home to not only avoid certain things, but have the discipline to continuously avoid negative opportunities, then we can be placed in situations that hurt our lives forever.

In conclusion, please know that it is vitally important to keep God in your life and continue to pray for his wisdom and insight. We are made as individuals through him, each with our own specific purpose. Let no man or woman jeopardize your destiny.

How do you see people getting steadily caught up into trouble, that you know they will have a hard time getting out of? Have you been through these experiences yourself? Explain, if comfortable.

Two Lives. One person.

Wow! What a neat person this guy is! He’s so sharply dressed, sporting a quality, Ralph Lauren button-down long sleeve shirt, with an impressive Fossil brand watch on his wrist. He has such charisma when he talks about his ambitions, he knows everybody there is to know, and he’s making some pretty good money for his age.

What about her? She’s one of the smartest girls you can meet. I don’t know a decent soul that claims to dislike her. Her smile brightens up every room. Its seems like her and her boyfriend have the perfect relationship. That’s something we all want! She’s the president of her social club, her appearance is flawless, the car she drives is one of the coolest around, and I don’t know what it is about her, but she’s got the “it” factor. Hands down!

But did you know that he has a serious addiction to pornography? He has told his father and mother that they are an embarrassment to him and his success, despite the sacrifices they have made for him. Did you know that he is internally angry with a girl that left him because of his cocky attitude and has threatened to release inappropriate pictures and private information about her on numerous occasions? Did you know he has been arrested twice for DUI?

Did you know that her parents are divorced? Her father told her that she was a waste of life and won’t be anything more but a “quick fix” for guys. Did you know that she’s cheated on multiple final exams and tests to keep her GPA up? Did you know that for years, she struggled with bulimia and just finished rehabilitating for it? Has she told you that her boyfriend is a great guy in public, but he’s extremely verbally abusive in private? Did she tell you that she was arrested last year for shoplifting at the mall? That was just the time she got caught.

Do you see where I’m getting at? If not, pay attention.

We all know somebody that we may slightly envy for whatever reason. If not envy, we glorify them and put them on this huge pedestal, holding them to a standard almost equated with the president of the United States! The truth is no matter how put-together someone appears on the surface, people have two sides to their lives. Especially college students, who can be some of the best actors and actresses of all-time. We all have problems and issues that have not been dealt with, while still trying to maintain a likable and manageable persona for the people we encounter.

However, let us not be judges of these people, for if the mirror was held up to our own lives, how embarrassed would we be? It’s quite ironic to see the mindset of people when it comes to hearing about others’ problems and issues. We assume we’re better than them because we don’t deal with the exact same thing. On the contrary, we probably struggle with something deeper to the core that can be as equally troubling, if not worse, than the person we pass judgment on.

Please know that the first time you meet someone, you have not truly met them but have only been acquainted with their name and appearance. Don’t pass them off as these people who are great almighty’s until they have proven their credentials or you have personally spoken with them yourself about the person they are. In addition to that, the same goes for not passing them off as terrible people because you’ve heard a few speculated rumors about their past or something they’ve done. You don’t know them. You don’t know what they’ve been through, the spiritual, emotional, environmental and physical battles they’ve struggled with, the reason why they’ve done some of the things they’ve done or why they are the person you see before you.

We are all full of flaws, so who are we to judge one another? That’s God’s job. Let Him do it. You worry about correcting yourself. Always keep in mind that the pretty blue color and sight seen on the surface of the ocean, never justify the mysterious, vast waters that rest underneath.

What are some of the double lives you have seen over time with people you’ve encountered?

Words can kill, but pressure can build

A normal, considerate human being is courteous of other people’s feelings. People generally won’t be completely honest when it comes to expressing themselves. They don’t want to initiate any dramatic situations, cause anyone else to be offended or hurt any certain person or group of people. In a way, that’s a good thing. However, when it comes to your true feelings and the filtered expressions that you actually share, it’s easy to find pros and cons.

Words can kill. Some people say what they feel, all the time, never holding anything back. It’s important for them to say anything that’s on their mind. The reason for that varies from person to person. It could be because they want to hear themselves talk. Sometimes individuals like to generate responses from people just to see how much they can control their emotions, or the person themselves. An issue of insecurity can also be attributed to this. If people are insecure, they might often say things that put people beneath them, making them feel exalted with an increased self-esteem. Finally, there are those people who just flat-out don’t see a reason to hold back what they feel.

In numerous circumstances, it can be good to say precisely what you feel or what you think. But when these statements become degrading, demoralizing, insulting and deconstructing, why does it need to be said? I’ll admit, people sometimes need to hear about themselves, and it takes the honest people of the world to deliver the message. However, when the message is not meant to build a person up except for yourself, for your humor or satisfaction, it’s not necessary to be shared. It doesn’t need to be said to the person or about the situation at hand, nor does it need to be said to other people about the person or situation, unless it’s someone close to you and you just feel like you need to tell someone. Even then, you have to watch how you tread that line. Shut your mouth, hold your tongue and be wise. (Proverbs 12:18)

In contrast to those people who feel that everything needs to be said, others say absolutely nothing. They don’t stand up for themselves, they let all their emotions build up inside of them, and very rarely do they have the courage to be honest with others. While talking too much can be socially damaging, never talking at all can be mentally dangerous.

People that deal with the issue of  ”fear of expression,” as I would call it, are often people who are extremely observant, much more wise than the average person and posses very insightful opinions, if eventually shared. In a highly critical society like today’s, which can get easily offended and defensive due to extreme sensitivity, it can be hard to share that wisdom. The problem with never sharing is this — what if no one ever knows you? What if what you have to say are the things people need to hear to change their lives? What if your silent, compressed ideas are the next greatest solutions? What if you pass and no one ever got to understand what went on in your thoughts? Nobody needs to be recognized by everybody, but everybody deserves to be remembered by somebody.

Internal pressure. That’s the pressure that you feel when all your emotions, thoughts, pains and opinions have all been building up. You feel the pressure of all of them at once, and because you’ve never released any of them, you’re now about to explode. You’re about to send a shock wave of expressions all at once, good and bad. The worst part is, everyone that’s in hearing range of you is a potential victim. Sometimes, people don’t even get to that point. They just take their lives, or go out and harm others. That’s the truth. We don’t need that to happen.

The reason I’m saying all of this is to display that expression without restraint is chaotic and ignorant. On the other side, emotion and thoughts always withheld can lead to internal destruction and personal frustration. So where can we find a middle ground? We write.

When it becomes risky to say any and everything, we write down the overflow. When we’re too nervous to say anything in the first place, we write down the unsaid, hopefully gaining the courage to express it later. Writing frees you on the inside. It allows you to breathe. No one can judge you, no one can say you’re right or wrong, no one can be hurt and no one can be critical. Writing is your river that flows to wherever you desire to release your state of mind.

All of those things that we can’t put into words, those things that can’t be shared outside of our skulls, those things that we must express without doing so verbally, should be written down. Once we are at a point of maturity that our writing has led us to, our selected verbal responses will be much effective, and our silent thoughts can be transmitted into respected comments that will one day lead to our success.

What are some things you wish you didn’t often talk about all the time, or what are some things that you don’t express enough?

Time to breathe

This life of ours moves so fast. We never have a resting moment when we look at our daily schedules. A day has 24 hours in it, but yet we do activities with almost 26-28 hours worth of time. Between friends, work, class, extra-curricular activities, relationships and so forth, it’s pretty plain to see that college students can be well beyond stressed. It’s time to change that.

One day…

One day out of the week, give to yourself. Don’t do work. Don’t try to go and meet up with a big group of people. Just rest. Go and look at God’s green earth for a while. Sit back and meditate on your life. Watch a movie, go out to eat or go have a good talk with someone. If you can’t give up a whole day, at least give up half of one.

Steve Jobs was one of the most successful men of the 21st century. In this day and age, if you’re a very successful person, it’s because you work extremely hard, and it’s highly probable that you have a full schedule at all times. But I fret for people like Jobs who gave so much time to their successes, that you question how much time they gave to themselves.

What kind of life is it to live every day striving to reach a level of success or to accomplish the demands of others at an incredibly high rate? That’s not life. That’s you robbing yourself of life.

Our time here on Earth is incredibly short and precious. Don’t consume it by doing this, that and the other at all times. Take time to breathe. Take time to build a better you.

What good is a beautiful car with all the coolest gadgets, but has over 300,000 miles on it? Well of course, no matter how beautiful the exterior of the vehicle is, the engine is failing or is about to. It will no longer be able to travel like it used to because it has been overused and abused. And although it was quickly shot through car shops and maintenance from time to time, it was never left to sit in the garage. It never got a day off. Now all you can do with it is send it to the junkyard. It’s useless.

Give yourself a day off a week. Watch how life turns around. Watch how easier it is to breathe. Simple as that.

What are some things you can start eliminating from your schedule to free up your time?

May God give us peace. Amen.

True Friends: More than acquaintances

Friendship. It’s a beautiful thing. Nothing is better in this world than having someone that keeps you up when you’re down, supports you in all your accomplishments, and tells you what you NEED to hear in times of confusion. I truly believe that God created humans for the sake of companionship. He created a part in us that longs for human interaction in order to be sane. Without friends, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

In spite of all the positives that friendships can bring forth, they also bring negatives if we don’t recognize what a friend truly is. If a friendship is not properly defined, we may find ourselves dealing with the issues of  betrayal, dishonesty, being used, being exploited, emotional damage and even physical harm. Many friendships are based off of what others can get out of you, what you’re good for or how you can be manipulated. You must be extremely careful when selecting friends you want to invest your interest in, not to speak of them as some sort of stock or anything. Simply put, you want someone who you feel that if you pour your efforts into, they will do the same. Friends are not just friends, but they should also be partners.

The following five characteristics are things that should be taken into consideration when evaluating friendships. They aren’t simply placed in at random, but have been accumulated based on experience, mentor advice and religious sermons and scripture.

1) Love

True friendships are based on love. And I mean sincere love. I think it’s safe to say that most of us understand what love is. But we need to learn how to apply it. If you love someone, you sincerely care for them and their well-being. When they come to you in distress, you make yourself available even though it may be inconvenient. You care about their situations. You support their ambitions as long as they lead to good. It’s a genuine love that’s not based on their popularity, not based on an argument that happens between the two of you, not based on anyone else’s notions about them and not based on whether or not they’re in a good or bad place in their life.

You should love your close friends unconditionally, even to a point where they don’t understand why you do. Sometimes loving your friends is realizing that your friendship will no longer be able to continue, but because you love them, you will always wish them the best with whatever they do in life. Whether shown through a simple embrace, written on a card, expressed verbally or shown through actions, love must be present in a friendship.

2) Trust

With any successful human relationship, trust has to be established. Friends are meant to be people that we can depend on in times of need, as well as feel comfortable with the knowings of our prized possessions, emotions, privacy and struggles. Trying to keep a friend that you cannot trust will often lead to your demise. And if you can’t trust them, find out why. Have they hurt you in the past? Stole from you or lied to you? If so, then a definite red flag should go up in regards to the level of friendship that you should have. I think it’s possible to be friends with those people who you cannot trust. However, these are the people that should be limited to the access of your life. Once trust has lost its establishment, or for some reason can never be fully gained, then that indicates that the friendship needs heavy evaluation. In a situation like that, it’s better not to take a chance on someone. Friendship should be certainty.

  3) Sacrifice

For me, this is the make-or-break of friendships. Your friend may truly love you. They may also be a person that you feel you can trust. But a true friendship should not be based on what’s convenient for one person. It should be a mutual effort of going out of the way to ensure the betterment of your being, in expectation that they would make the same effort for you. This is where the biggest problem lies with most friendships.

Anyone can sit up and talk to you, but how many people will actually let you stay the night with them when your home or environment is not in order? Anyone can give you a dollar to grab a bag of chips out of the snack machine, but how many people will go out and buy you groceries because they know your funds will not provide food for you? Anyone can tell you happy birthday on Facebook or through a text message, but how many people will buy you a card, write a heart felt note with it, get you a gift then look to be with you on your special day? These are just the minor sacrifices of friendship. If someone can’t even meet these standards, how can you expect them to be there for you when you’re really down and out? Everyone wants to be with you during your highs, but your true friends stick around with you during your lows.

4) Communication

You have to be able to talk and clarify. Expressing to one another how you really feel is vitally important. If you can’t tell your friends about the mistake they are going to make or the issues they need to work on, who will? There’s also an importance that comes with building each other up. Giving friends praise for their efforts allows them to open up towards you, while allowing room for you to do the same. Friends need to be release agents for each other. During times of stress and pressure, you’re going to need someone to vent to. Many times, people don’t even need a response past a head nod and a hug when they’re opening up. That’s communication. That means something to a person.

When there is a dispute between the two of you, its not time to throw a pity-party and hate each other. It’s time to put everything out on the table, talk about it, come to a conclusion and drop it at the end of the conversation. In those periods where your friends gets really tied up with their own agendas and tasks, and they cannot easily sit down with you to have a chit-chat, the simple gesture of sending a text message saying, “I know you’re busy, but I hope you’re well,” is enough to keep a friendship alive. Communication takes away the mess of complication.

5) Understanding

Understand your friends. Understand that they are not perfect. Understand they mess up. Understand they fail. You can’t put the people in your life to a higher standard than the one you have for yourself. This life is one of trial and error, and we have to fail to succeed. But in friendships, it is up to each person to have compassion for the other. You should be able to read close friends without them saying a word.

Understand that sometimes, the way they are acting toward you may have anything to do with  you. It could be that they’re in a phase of  life where things just won’t go right, and they may need space to breathe or be to themselves. Allow them that boundary. We can’t be selfish and inconsiderate. If you can understand their state of mind without it being expressed, that can often heighten the previous four characteristics stated.

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Know that friendships aren’t about how much time you spend together or how long you’ve been friends. It’s about the moments you share, along with the memories you create with one another. The best friendships in this world may be between people who only see each other once a year, but they always know that once they get back together, it’s nothing but making up for lost time. They would act the same as if they were with each other everyday. When you find the value in friendship, you’ll set a standard that doesn’t consist of pettiness. From there, someone comes along and makes an impact on your life…forever.

What is true friendship to you? Does this make you re-think some of your current friendships?

Life is best with no stress

This world we’re in seems to never stop going. The sun seems to rise as quickly as the time allowed on the snooze button to an alarm clock. Our daily agendas only seem to get longer and longer with no regards to the fatigue that we are fighting as we try to complete each task. God said to rest on the seventh day, but it seems like if we rest, we only get behind for days one, two and three. Being stressed isn’t any fun. The good news is that stress can be managed, even for the college student. I have a few tips of how to maintain or neutralize stress from the academic standpoint.

How stress comes about                                                     

1) Letting classes pile up

Classes can be hectic. Trying to juggle anywhere from four to seven courses a week can surely take its toll. It seems like there’s something due every single day, and the professors tend to never let up. This isn’t high school where you used to complete a big project, paper or test, and the teacher slows down with the work load for a while. In college, when the professor is finished with test number one, you immediately start engaging in material for test number two. Then, there’s that dreadful “hell week” that everyone seems to have every semester. This is the time of the semester where you’ve got two back-to-back test on Monday, a research paper due Tuesday, a presentation on Thursday and a speech on Friday (or some workload in that regards). All of this, ironically, just happens to fall on the same week. You did not realize this until the previous Thursday, and now this weekend will be nothing but a load of assignments, from sun-up until sun-down. But here’s where you messed up:

You neglected to check your syllabus.

You also took that guideline sheet for those papers and tossed them in your backpack, never thinking to check it again. By the way, you’ve had two weeks with those guideline sheets, and you could have knocked out some of those papers a week or so ago. In regards to those tests, because you’ve waited until the weekend before to start looking at material, and no one really wants to study with you because you seem like the student that would only slow a study session down, you are stuck trying to decipher those notes that you scrambled to take. Now that you’re looking at them, you realize that you were so busy trying to write down what Dr. Frankenstein was saying, that you failed to comprehend any information. The partners for your group presentation have yet to contact you about anything, and you have no idea how you guys are going to make the presentation. Not good.

P.S.-You have 30 math problems due on Wednesday. That’s a test grade.

2) Taking on too much

Again, young adults want to have responsibility to feel like young adults. They will seek out extra-curricular activities to fulfill these needs and desires. Plus, you want to be involved with the campus, despite those five or six classes. But hey, you can manage, or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

I could use a little cash in my pocket, so let’s apply for a job in the food court. I don’t have many classes in the afternoons, so a few hours towards a check wouldn’t hurt. Intramural Sports? Maybe I should do that to keep my level of competition steady. Plus, I think there’s already a team to join.

Everybody’s pledging a social club/fraternity/sorority. Maybe I should see what’s out there and pledge this semester. I’d like to have that brotherhood/sisterhood experience before leaving school. Volunteering opportunities on weekends? Nice. It wouldn’t hurt to give back to the community.

Do you see how these things pile up? Before you know it, you don’t have any time, and it’s not because that was the ultimatum. Let us not forget why we came to college in the first place…to get a degree.

3) Terrible organization and time management skills

Yes, it sucks to have a ton of hectic classes. It’s also not good to be doing everything that can possibly be done on campus. Let’s switch to the other college-student extreme. Say you’re only taking four classes. You have Tuesdays and Thursdays off. The only extra-curricular activity you do is work as a manager for a sports team. However, even the lightest schedule can cause great stress. If you can’t map out a day to make it productive in some way, things can back up just as easily as the work-horse student, and you may find yourself doing a large quantity of low-quality work in a short time frame.

The Solutions…

1) Stay one or two assignments ahead

Check all your class syllabuses frequently. Every professor gives you one. They leave you with the responsibility of checking assignment due dates that they’ve already predetermined, months in advance. The simplest thing to do is utilize your Friday and Saturdays. I know on Friday, the last thing you’d like to do is homework. I’m not saying spend the whole night doing work, but after class (which ends fairly early for most on MWF), head over to the library or the desk in your room, and see what you can knock out for the next week by dinner time. Saturdays are great, too. Keep the TV on if you’d like, but read a few chapters, start on a paper or look over notes. There’s no pressure to have anything done on these days because there’s no classes on the days following. Chances are you can work easier.

It’s best to do your weekly assignments early, which you’re pretty familiar with and don’t require much effort, but are vital grades. When you can avoid tedious assignments at the last minute, where your brain can’t seem to function because you’re worried about a bigger assignment, there’s less pressure. Start on papers early. The hardest part to a paper is the first page. If you can learn to do the first pages of papers in advance, it becomes smooth sailing when you sit down to write the rest of the paper. Little tidbits like doing work on weekends, starting work a week or more in advance and even turning in assignments early, are simple methods that can make a huge difference in workloads you carry throughout the week. You’ll be so far ahead sometimes, that you can afford to take a day or two off a week and just give yourself some down time.

2) Extra-curricular activities should be fulfilling to you, not just to keep you busy.

I had a sit-down with my wise god-sister earlier this year. I was telling her about all the things I was involved with and some of the things I was looking to cut. She said the most profound words to me during our discussion:

“…just because you CAN do a lot of things, doesn’t mean you SHOULD do all of them. Some things are not necessary.”

Every time I’m offered to participate in groups, events or job opportunities, I now ask myself, “Is this really something I have time for?” If the answer is no, I can politely turn it down. I only do things that work around my academic schedule, not the other way around. It’s good to be involved, but you should first analyze what you want to be involved with and how will it pertain to you. Weigh your options and make sure nothing outweighs time devoted to classes.

3) Time management…simple as that.

You know your day-to-day schedule. And if you have days that end early, don’t waste it until late at night when your tired, wanting to watch TV and not even in a state to comprehend work. Plan your days to be productive after class. Work hard early, relax later. Commit yourself to small daily goals that you can accomplish. Do things one at a time. You’ll slowly see your to-do list getting thinner and thinner by the hour.

Aside from these points, here’s a BIGGIE:

Don’t talk about everything you have to do! People intentionally try to make their lives sound more hectic then it is to other people. Why? I don’t know. I guess you sound cool if you sound busy. I’m not saying you can’t tell your best friend the workload you have coming up, but when you go around verbally telling yourself and others every little detail of work you have to do, you psych yourself out. Just take one assignment and do it. Don’t mention another assignment, but simply do the one at the top of the list. The others don’t exist until that one is done. Once it’s done, shut up about it. Making pity parties for yourself about your workload gets nothing accomplished.

Don’t let stress control you. It’s all a state of mind. You control the state.